Parent Engagement

      I found this week's readings to be very informative and motivating.  I hope to work in an urban school and therefore much of what these articles are discussing is highly relevant.  I think it is unfortunate that many schools have a narrow view of what parent involvement means, and I can definitely see how this view is skewed toward the middle class.  No wonder why parents in these areas have mistrust of the system.
     It seems imperative for teachers to be informed about the variety of parent involvement possible, as the article by Susan Auerbach suggests.  Even though a parent is not visible in the school, does not mean that the parent is uninterested or unsupportive.  For example, those parents may work more to help their child go to a better school or may give them less responsibilities at home so there is more time for schoolwork.  I think it is very important for teachers and school administrators to keep this in mind.
     I wonder if the parents who may be supportive at home might be more visible in the school or more able to be advocates if there were more community based organizations assisting the process, such as in the article "Beyond the Bake Sale." I really like the programs described in this article, and wonder why more urban schools are not implementing these models.  I found it frustrating to hear that schools might be hesitant to empower parents to be advocates in their children's education.  It seems as though helping these families improve their lives as a whole will not only help those children's lives, but will also improve the quality of life for generations to come.  It seems imperative for teachers to advocate for the availability of these types of supports for parents.  
     While interning in a guidance department at a high school, I worked with a student who was a child of recent Chinese immigrants.  While I am sure that her parents were supportive of her education, she had very little assistance with being able to apply to college.  Guidance counselors (or teachers) just do not have the time to help students like her with college applications in the intense manner that this student needed.  I'm guessing that in her situation, just like for many others, it was a combination of language barriers and lack of understanding of the American education system that impeded her college application process.  This is just another example of how necessary and valuable it is for schools to gain parents' trust and help them become more knowledgeable about the educational system so that they can be more of an advocate in their children's education.

Blog Four: Sexual Orientation

I was particularly interested in the article that discussed lesbian and gay adolescents because I have personal experience with this process. I became more consciously aware of my sexual orientation as a sophomore in high school.  This was an extremely hard process, especially considering that I knew that my parents, as conservative Protestants, were whole-heartedly against a gay lifestyle.  In fact, my sister (who is eighteen years older than me) had come out a few years before, when I was not yet conscious of my own sexuality.  I watched their struggle with her coming out.  They had the pastor come over and counsel us as a family...they read books...and unfortunately, they also made some snide remarks about her relationship choices behind her back.  Then there's me a few years later.  Let me tell you, those memories stick.  Especially, the snide remarks.

In Dennis Anderson's article he states, "Whatever the experiences that lead to the growing personal awareness of their homosexuality, most gay and lesbian adolescents can vividly recall a period of intense anxiety when they first realized that they suddenly belonged to a group of people that is often vehemently despised."  (p.339) From my own experience, this experience of knowing that you belong to a group that many other people don't like (or at the very least are uncomfortable with) is incredibly challenging to cope with and leads to being silenced.  Being silenced is an extremely subtle yet damaging form of discrimination.  Here's an example that I have encountered several times in my life.  As a feminine lesbian, many people assume based on my appearance that I am straight.  This might lead someone, for the sake of being friendly, to ask if I have a boyfriend.  While I know that this is merely intended to be friendly, I can tell you that it immediately shuts me down.  I will simply answer with "no," and leave it at that.  From then on, any occassion where relationships come up with that person, I immediately become uncomfortable.  On the other hand, when a person asks me if I have a boyfriend or girlfriend, or if I am in a relationship, I am more inclined to answer in an upfront manner.  It seems small perhaps, but it is important to never assume, based on someone's appearance or any other factor that you know what their sexual orientation is. 

Here's a different example of another challenge I have encountered.  Let's say my girlfriend of seven years and I go to a family function.  For the sake of example, I'll say it's her family's function (although it happens all the time.)  If there are outside people there, I will get introduced as "Kelly's friend."  The family members are well aware that our relationship is not merely a friendship, yet out of their discomfort, that is how I am referred.  Awkward! If we were in a heterosexual relationship, this would never happen.  I think this is another example of feeling silenced.  Calling me "Kelly's friend," is like saying, "I'm uncomfortable with your relationship." 

This article also discussed that homosexual adolescents make one of three choices in dealing with newly acknowledged feelings: try to change them, continue to hide them, or accept them.  While I never tried to change my feelings, I did hide them for as long as possible.  I hid them the longest from my family because I knew they would be the most difficult people to come out to.  Hiding your sexual orientation is an extremely stressful experience.  You become petrified that someone is going to find out and it feels like it would be completely intolerable for that to happen.  For awhile, I had convinced myself that I was never going to come out and I would just pretend to live a heterosexual life.  It wasn't until I met my current girlfriend that my views on that began to change.  I realized that I needed to do what made me happy and forget what everyone else thinks.  Accepting one's sexual orientation is definitely a process that people become more comfortable with over time.  In high school, I was just barely conscious of my sexual orientation, and definitely wouldn't be comfortable with it fully for many more years.